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How Did I Get Here?

Writer's picture: IvineIvine

Updated: Jan 30, 2023

Monday, 9/12, when I heard the doctor speak and tell me the news, it was like a 2x4 hit me in the chest and threw brick after brick until I could not breathe. I remember thinking to myself, how did I get here? I was perfectly fine in January, and here I am 9 months later, listening to this doctor tell me my future. I could not think of anything except my family. Not why me, but why them. As tears began to roll down my face, my husband grabbed my hand and wiped my tears. I knew then that God was there with me. But I still questioned how did I get here from a very rare cancer that was treatable to now something that is terminal. How did I go from having stage 2 cancer that was non-aggressive, localized, and removable - to having stage 4 that has spread and is non-removable? In these last 6 months, I have been in a whirlwind of emotions. I have prayed, quoted scripture, wrapped myself in prayer shawls, ropes, stones, anointing oil, handkerchiefs, laid hands, to anything biblical we have done it. I was even told it was a demonic spirit (a discussion for another day). But yet, I am still in this position.

Questions tend to roll throw your mind – am I really saved? If so, why am I still in this position? Today, it hit me that life happens. Storms are going to come. The Bible tells us that. However, one thing I can not accept is defeat. I can not accept anything contrary to the word of God. The Lord told me this was not until death, and I believe it. My husband has been saying the whole time that I am a miracle. Sometimes we have to be in a sticky situation for a miracle to happen. When the doctor says it's impossible, God says it is possible. Even with terrible scans and feeling like crap, I trust that God has a plan, and that plan is for me to live a long prosperous life and do kingdom work. My primary purpose in life is to live a life that God is well pleased with, and I believe I have at least 50 more years to do it. I don't have to beg God for something he has already told me was mine. I shall believe the report of the Lord and the doctor's report shall line up with it. This is not a post for pity; it is a post to encourage someone that it can't rain forever; eventually, the sun has got to shine. Your life and mine are a testimony; we have to trust the process. I love all of you and watch God work.

In my darkest hour, God is still GOOD!!




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lucas kids
lucas kids
Nov 07, 2023

Amen, God is good!! We must trust the process.

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